Okay okay okay okay... I'm posting again... I have to get ready for work but I wanted to at least get this down so certain parties can't say that I didn't post anything! LOL  You know who you are... LOL

 

Anyhow, I'll write more when I get home!  You guys have fun while I'm gone (but not too much fun)

 

Love ya all,

Brian

 

Sorry for being MIA for so long.. I was having a LOT of crap hitting me all at once and I basically crawled into a hole and tried to deal with it the best I could.  Anyway, things are good now! (Bad in some areas, great in others, so it averages out to be good) and I'll keep up now!

I'm going to quit taking chances... Everytime I do, I get hurt... I'm just going to be plain, boring, clock in - clock out, middle-of-the-road brian...

Well, I would love to be a Systems Consultant (basically an efficiency expert for systems within a business) and I do know that EVENTUALLY I will get my degree... I don't make a lot of money now but I love where I work.  I love my co-workers, some of the customers can drop off the face of the earth as far as I'm concerned, but I digress... So, today I'm looking into how much consultants make and what exactly they do.  I don't want to be fantasizing about some dream job and get unrealistic expectations.   Hey!  I found a poem I had written in my diary that I'd completely forgot about... in case you can't tell, I wasn't feeling very cheerful that day! LOL

I look upon my tattered wrists
Scars of love that lost
The endless seas of sorrow's waves
That left my spirit tossed

I cried to heaven, twas hell I found
To save me from my tortured nights
To end my pain and loneliness
And cease my endless frights

The tunnel ending light was bathed
With luminescence as crimson as blood
No end to my dark fantasies
Just thorns, ne'er rose's bud

And so I shuddered once again
And cried in sombered sleep
To wait for light from love's sweet embers
Til then I'm doomed to weep

Well everyone, its time to begin thinking about new year's resolutions... I've never really put much credance in them but I think this year I'm going to change that.  I'm net getting any younger and when you have people in your life that you care about, you need to make sure you'll be around for many years to come.  That's why I'm beginning a seven year process of renewal.  I'll begin the firrst year with physical transformation.  I'm going to focus on losing fat, building muscle, increasing my flexibility, and trying to be more attractive.  In future years, I'm going to focus on such topics as social advancement, and financial success.  After seven years, I plan to have completely reinvented myself for the better.  Will it work?  Who knows.. But I'm going to try...

Anybody else getting error messages with Bravejournal??? Also sometimes my formatting's all screwed up...

In most of my life, I can see things as simply black or white.  Murder is bad, charity is good.  Crap, but what about murdering a Hitler or giving charity to a terrorist organization that uses the money to kill innocent civilians?  Argh! Am I wishy-washy??? Well, that aside, most of the more 'controversial' issues leave me with a headache because I feel like I over analyze them and I don't have a religious or political organization to brainwash me into believing something simply because I'm a member.

I guess this all struck me because of the Scott Peterson thing.  Have they made a decision yet?  Lemmee check... ...nope... So basically my conflict with the death penalty is that if murder is bad then how is killing a guilty person good ?  Or is it simply the lesser of two evils? 

According to the American Heritage Dictionary:

Murder:The unlawful killing of one human by another, especially with premeditated malice.
Capital Punishment: The penalty of death for the commission of a crime.
Law: A rule of conduct or procedure established by custom, agreement, or authority.

So killing another human is wrong except when ordained by the state... And according to Gregg v. Georgia, capital punishment is not ian inherent violation of the 8th amendment (cruel and unusual punishment.) So any killing that the state does has to be quick and humane.

I'm just overwhelmed that the only difference between murder and capital punishment is a piece of paper that says we can do it because either (1)We've always done it, (2)We agreed to do it, or (3)We're doing it because we can...

I just don't know if humans should be in charge of that big a decision when they can't even push a stinkin button for whom they want to be president without getting confused... LOL

Okay, enough seriousness, I promise something fun tomorrow! Have fun today campers... I'll be at work so if anybody needs me, you can im me on Yahoo or call.  If you need my number, get it from Milla Jovavich.  Sure she may SAY she doesn't know me and then ramble on something about a restraining order, blah blah blah, but come on... She wouldn't have done Resident Evil 2 if she didn't love me... Now where's that copy of Catcher in the Rye....

Sorry for not posting in forever... I've had a lot going on in my life lately that's pretty much left me drained when I get home at night.  Lately I think I've replaced the depression with mania so I haven't been sleeping a lot.  Love sucks...   Life sucks...  Sorry, I promise to be in a better mood tomorrow.  Assuming that alcohol is a stimulant... Oh wait, nevermind...


"Never Alone" by Barlow Girl

I waited for you today
But you didn't show
No no no
I needed You today
So where did You go?
You told me to call
Said You'd be there
And though I haven't seen You
Are You still there?

I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I"m never alone

And though I cannot see You
And I can't explain why
Such a deep, deep reassurance
You've placed in my life

We cannot separate
'Cause You're part of me
And though You're invisible
I'll trust the unseen

I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I"m never alone

We cannot separate
'Cause You're part of me
And though You're invisible
I'll trust the unseen

I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I"m never alone

Now we can go on the offensive to combat spammers!  This is so cool...

***BEGIN QUOTE**************************************************

Internet portal Lycos has made a screensaver that endlessly requests data from sites that sell the goods and services mentioned in spam e-mail.

Lycos hopes it will make the monthly bandwidth bills of spammers soar by keeping their servers running flat out.

The net firm estimates that if enough people sign up and download the tool, spammers could end up paying to send out terabytes of data.

Cost curve

"We've never really solved the big problem of spam which is that its so damn cheap and easy to do," said Malte Pollmann, spokesman for Lycos Europe.

"In the past we have built up the spam filtering systems for our users," he said, "but now we are going to go one step further."

"We've found a way to make it much higher cost for spammers by putting a load on their servers."

By getting thousands of people to download and use the screensaver, Lycos hopes to get spamming websites constantly running at almost full capacity.

Mr Pollmann said there was no intention to stop the spam websites working by subjecting them with too much data to cope with.

He said the screensaver had been carefully written to ensure that the amount of traffic it generated from each user did not overload the web.

"Every single user will contribute three to four megabytes per day," he said, "about one MP3 file."

But, he said, if enough people sign up spamming websites could be force to pay for gigabytes of traffic every single day.

Lycos did not want to use e-mail to fight back, said Mr Pollmann.

"That would be fighting one bad thing with another bad thing," he said.

Slow down

The sites being targeted are those mentioned in spam e-mail messages and which sell the goods and services on offer.

Typically these sites are different to those that used to send out spam e-mail and they typically only get a few thousand visitors per day.

The list of sites that the screensaver will target is taken from real-time blacklists generated by organisations such as Spamcop. To limit the chance of mistakes being made, Lycos is using people to ensure that the sites are selling spam goods.

As these sites rarely use advertising to offset hosting costs, the burden of high-bandwidth bills could make spam too expensive, said Mr Pollmann.

Sites will also slow down under the weight of data requests. Early results show that response times of some sites have deteriorated by up to 85%.

Users do not have to be registered users of Lycos to download and use the screensaver.

While working, the screensaver shows the websites that are being bothered with requests for data.

The screensaver is due to be launched across Europe on 1 December and before now has only been trialled in Sweden.

Despite the soft launch, Mr Pollmann said that the screensaver had been downloaded more than 20,000 times in the last four days.

"There's a huge user demand to not only filter spam day-by-day but to do something more," he said "Before now users have never had the chance to be a bit more offensive.

***END QUOTE**************************************************
Source: BBC News 11/29/2004

Download the screensaver HERE

Versus

I got a haircut Friday night and she took WAAAAAAAAAAAY too much off.  I was cool until someone told me I looked like either Drew Carey or a Marine!  That's it - I'm growing my hair long again LOL